Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
my poor anus
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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