watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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