We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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