even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
