even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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