Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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