the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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