Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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