i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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