bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
