I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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