I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
