He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
