we're blogging at a bar
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
