Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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