HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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