O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
