I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
