.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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