I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
