It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
