I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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