No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
