4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
