Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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