Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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