I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
