Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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