Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
