yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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