Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
