I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
