Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
