i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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