dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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