Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
