It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
