dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
