That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
