I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
