Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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