My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
