I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
