matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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