Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
