and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
