My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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