Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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