you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
