I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
