Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
