we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
