no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
