the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
