she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I woke up under a house in Key West
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