? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
