He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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