This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize