I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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