the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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