I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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