you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
and you fell through a lawn chair
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
