I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
