The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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