we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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