Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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